When a mother who is Deaf has difficulty communicating with her daughter, Super Nanny Jo Frost teaches her a strategy that gets communication rolling–validation.
When at first her daughter yells at her and storms out, Frost tells the mother that her daughter needs to communicate freely and be responded to so that she feels validated.
What is validation?
Psychology Today addressed this topic in a parenting article, “Reflect, Validate, Repeat as Necessary.” The title presents the steps of effective listening, which validates the other person’s needs: reflect (after receiving their communication), validate, repeat.
According to the article, “Validating someone’s thoughts or emotions involves accepting that what they have said is valid for them, even if we do not agree with them. So, it involves focusing on the emotional content of a statement or conversation and reflecting that, rather than the details.”
Whether the parent is Deaf or hearing, sometimes paying attention to incorrect, shocking, or accusatory statements from a teen can be a challenge, but Super Nanny US hits upon a key validation point. Agreement isn’t necessary, but allowing the other person to communicate their needs and letting them know you understand their what they’re saying is.
On the Super Nanny US segment, while watching the validation process, an unexpected side effect occurs–the daughter signs more to her mother when she realizes her mother isn’t interrupting her communication.
Since communication is a two-way process, giving more often results in receiving more willingness from others to sign with parents.
Daughter Storms Out Of Emotional Talk With Deaf Parents – Supernanny US – YouTube